I'm baaaaaaack!

It's been two months can you believe it? i have realized that blogging is like everything else we do, whether it be, working out or reading our scriptures, or eating healthy or maybe even just keeping our rooms clean...we're really good at keeping up with those things for a little while and then there's always a time we stop doing them! but then we pick right back up and get into the habbit again. do you agree? you're crazy to not. blogging just hasnt been a top priority for me lately! a lot has happened the last few weeks. good and bad :) but thats just normal.

we'll start with the not so good stuff to get that out of the way...i went through another rough week a couple weeks ago. not really sure what triggered it but it was almost as bad as my previous depressed state i had been in. when i'm in those states (this is the same as anyone else who suffers from this illness) we tend to not care about anything or anyone around us. we shut ourselves out from the rest of the world. thank goodness for my family, friends, and church leaders though. i know that they will never let me give up and they will always be there for me. i know that i could never do anything ridiculously stupid because all i'd need to do is think of them and know i could never hurt them or leave them.

one of the hardest things for me to do is making decisions! i'm terrible at it! i know that most of you know i've been thinking about a mission. i had finally made my mind up and took the first step in talking with my branch president. he had told me that the rules had changed and i needed to talk with my homeward bishop and work with him on my papers (bishop bakow) i was really looking forward to that because i love that man. i was finally starting to feel myself pick back up and i was feeling good, especially that i had made a decision to do something! it felt really good. after only a few days of making my mind up i kind of stopped thinking about my mission as much. my mind became occupied on something more important at that time ;) i'm still unsure what the lord has in store for me. but i'm going to keep preparing myself, whether it be for a mission...or marriage. i know that the Lord will make it clear to me what i should do. i'm looking forward to what lies ahead! i'm so grateful for the trials that my Heavenly Father has given me, i know that without a doubt i wouldnt be near as strong as i am now if i hadnt of gone through all that i've gone through during my life. i've been extremely blessed with parents who love me and who are concerned for me. i know they truly care about me.